


Promises

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, psycho pass secret santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5566594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After several years Kougami returns to Tokyo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the psycho-pass secret santa. Enjoy!

Kougami stood in the immigration line at the airport idly playing with his phone. It was Christmas Eve, and for some reason everybody and their mothers seemed to be arriving in Tokyo. He'd already been there for half an hour, and it looked like he had half an hour to go, and this was not how he wanted his first time back in Japan to start. Not that he'd had plans for the night. He'd been hoping to do anything other than go home and unpack. He had a lot to unpack. He wasn't going to do it on a holiday. 

Already his phone had lit up with a bunch of texts from various friends of his welcoming him back into the country. He scrolled through them, answered some, ignored others (fuck Makishima) and waited for one text in particular. 

It never came. 

Half an hour later he was waiting for his bags, and he checked his phone again, but still no message from the person he wanted a message the most from. He wondered if Ginoza was waiting for him to message first. 

That was probably it. Before he'd left, he'd told Ginoza that he wasn't sure how long he'd be away. Ginoza had taken this and internalized it, had given no outward reaction, but Kougami had seen the flash of hurt in his eyes. 

“I won't ask you to wait for me,” Kougami said, “but if you want to, I'd like that.” 

“That depends on how long you're away,” Ginoza said. “I can't keep chasing you.” 

Ginoza and Kougami had gone to school together. They'd studied law together. They'd gotten their first jobs together. They'd moved in together. Then Kougami had gotten bored. He'd asked for a transfer. Ginoza transferred with him. He went to the criminal law department. Ginoza went with him. Then Kougami asked if he could work abroad. 

Ginoza hadn't gone with him, that time. 

They'd talked often for the first few months Kougami was away. Initially, it was only a six month stint in an office in London. But one month away from his return date, Kougami was offered an extension, and he took it. It took him a while to tell Ginoza. When he did, Ginoza wasn't happy. It was another six months. 

Except those six months turned into a year, and Kougami became busier and busier, made friends that he spent his free time with, and eventually communication with Ginoza dropped off. Kougami slept with someone else during that time, another man from Japan who'd also been sent abroad named Sasayama. He'd sent Ginoza a text that day reading, “you don't have to wait anymore” and felt like shit after. But he kept sleeping with Sasayama. Ginoza never responded. 

He got his bags, headed out of the airport and into a cab. The air was bitingly cold, wintery. Last Christmas he'd spent drinking himself silly with Sasayama, and they'd warmed themselves up with lots of sex. Ginoza had never had sex with him. It wasn't a problem, but Kougami hadn't realized until he'd met Sasayama how much he'd missed it. How much he enjoyed it. 

The cab took him to his new apartment. It was modern, small, sparsely furnished. Ginoza still had a lot of Kougami's books. Kougami wondered if he'd kept them or given them away. Maybe to a mutual friend of theirs. None of them had mentioned it. 

He put down his bags and sat on his bed, phone in hand, Ginoza's number pulled up. He thought about texting. It was late. A text could be easily ignored. 

He found himself calling. 

The phone rang several times, enough that Kougami thought it might go to voicemail. Then someone picked up, remained silent for a few moments. 

“Gino?” Kougami asked. 

“Kougami.” Ginoza's voice was quiet, clipped. 

“I'm back,” Kougami said. “I wanted you to know. I'm back in Tokyo.” 

“For good?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.” Ginoza fell silent on the other end. 

“You're probably wondering why I'm calling,” Kougami said. “I thought you knew I was coming back.” 

“I did,” Ginoza said. “Akane told me.” 

“How is she?” 

“She's fine,” Ginoza said. 

“How are you?” Kougami asked, his chest feeling tight because he knew the answer would either be a lie, or not good. 

“Fine,” Ginoza said. 

“Right. Me, too,” Kougami said. “Listen, Gino-” 

“You should have called,” Ginoza interrupted. “You didn't stay for me. You didn't come back for me. The least you could have done was call to break it off. But you couldn't even do that. I didn't warrant a call.” 

“It—I'm sorry,” Kougami said. “I thought it would be weird.” 

“You were afraid,” Ginoza said. 

“Yeah,” Kougami ran his hands through his hair. “I know.” 

“We had years, Kougami,” Ginoza said, “and you left and that was all it took. What was I to you, really?” 

“My best friend,” Kougami said. “My first love. You mean the world to me, Gino.” 

He heard Ginoza take a sharp breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was barely steady. “You were everything to me, and I spent so long berating myself for not being worth it. It wasn't that I couldn't find a reason why I wouldn't be worth your time. You know how I can feel about myself. But I wanted to know what the breaking point was. What I did that finally made you leave.” 

“You didn't,” Kougami said, quiet. “You didn't do anything.” 

“Then what happened?” Ginoza's voice rose too high. 

“Nothing,” Kougami said. 

“It took nothing.” 

“I just,” Kougami sighed, “I was a coward and I didn't think and I screwed up.” 

“You found someone.” 

“Not to love. Just to screw around with. A friend with benefits.” 

“I see.” Ginoza was quiet again. 

“We should try again,” Kougami blurted out, unable to stand the silence, Ginoza's anger almost palpable through the phone. 

“No.” Ginoza's voice cracked. “I can't.” 

“Gino-” 

“I can't,” Ginoza repeated. “I'm sorry.” He hung up. 

Kougami lowered the phone, glanced out the window. The city was lit up, but his room was dark. His heart beat too fast, and he clutched the phone harder, not sure what to do. 

“Merry fucking Christmas,” he muttered. He thought about calling someone else. Maybe Akane. She'd only tell him that he'd brought this upon himself. 

His phone buzzed. 

There was a new message from Ginoza. He opened it. It read: “Merry Christmas. I can't start where we left off. Maybe we can be friends. Give me time.” 

Kougami laid down on top of his blankets. He remembered, years ago, when he would curl around Ginoza, stroke his hair, whisper that he loved him. Make promises he wouldn't keep. But in those moments, he meant every word. 

Now he was alone, and it would be so great to start where they ended, but he knew the years couldn't pass without consequences. They'd both changed. Kougami had made huge mistakes. He needed to fix them. Ginoza needed him to be a better person before they could be anywhere close to what they had before. 

Kougami promised himself that he would try to be better. He promised Ginoza, too, imagining Ginoza lying in the bed they used to share, curled around Dime underneath his blankets, clutching his phone the same way Kougami held his own, hoping that what they had could be made right again.


End file.
